Mummy does not know best!

Can you show me again how to do this, darling? I still cannot do it!

A few years ago my oldest friend decided it was a good idea to start learning an instrument with her children. Her youngest, then 9 and fiercely competitive had just decided to take up the guitar. Much cooler than the recorder – which is what her older sister played.

My friend lives in a rural area and has to hang out during her kid’s music lessons. As she had to observe the lessons anyway, she felt quite inspired to try out what she had learned at home – secretly also hoping that her efforts might rub off on her daughter, too.

Unsurprisingly this had the opposite effect! Of course, my friend was ahead of her daughter – she knew how to read music, could accurately reproduce rhythmic patterns etc.

Did I mention my friend’s daughter is highly competitive?

So, rather than inspire my friend brought out the competitive spirit in her daughter. She wanted to help her child by showing her daughter how the piece should sound, what the teacher meant etc. only to induce stubbornness and indeed the odd tantrum.

In her case the opposite strategy would have been more effective. Children, in particular competitive ones enjoy a bit of one-up-manship. 

Try to get your child to teach YOU, pretend (or maybe you do not even have to pretend) that you do not understand something, make a few deliberate and silly mistakes and you might have a delighted music student at hand who is enjoying their new found superiority and is showing off their musical competence with delight.

The new redesigned Cover. Replacing a smiley little girl with pig-tails. She was cute, but I do like this one better.

Blame it on the Boogie!

I recently heard the most tragic tale of a music education cut short by parents' and teachers' intransigence. A dutiful 14 year old pianist had reached grade 8 - a very good achievement for that age - and was becoming increasingly frustrated by his old-fashioned (and dare I say it old) teacher. He wanted to play different repertoire and was drawn to Trad-jazz and Boogie-woogie. His teacher flatly refused to teach that type of repertoire, the parent refused to find another teacher. Consequence - the child stopped and never touched a piano again. Granted - this story is from the late seventies and times have changed, but I wonder for how many readers this will strike a chord? (sorry for the pun)

Finding inspiring pieces and making sure your child is learning to play in a genre they love is paramount in keeping them going. There is no point in forcing a Metallica fan to play dainty Haydn sonatas. When I take a prospective student I always enquire about the repertoire they want to play or sing. If the answer is Jazz or Musical Theatre I usually decline to take them on. Not because there is anything wrong with these two genres, but because I do not play in those styles and because I don't feel that I can teach it adequately. Luckily today you can find teachers to instruct you in more or less any style - so before you embark on lessons try to clarify for yourself and your child what genre they are most interested in. Playing pieces you love is one of the best motivations for practise there is!